Philosophy Jokes

Who says science jokes are not funny? Below you can see some of the best Philosophy jokes we know, along with short explanations to the more obscure of them.

Do you know any funny Philosophy jokes yourself? Let us know in the comment section below.

Descartes goes into a bar, sits down, and orders a beer. He finishes his beer, and the bartender says, “Descartes, would you like another?” Descartes responds, “I think not” and POOF! he disappears.

Explanation
The most famous quote of Descartes is “I think; therefore I am.”

“How did the solipsist break up with his girlfriend?”
“It’s not you, it’s me.”

Explanation
Every solipsist believes that they are the only one who is known to exist.

The dean asks the head of the physics department to see him.
“Why are you using so many resources? All those labs and experiments and whatnot; this is getting expensive! Why can’t you be more like mathematicians – they only need pens, paper, and a trash bin. Or philosophers – they only need pens and paper!”

“What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?”

Explanation
The sentence itself is a cross between a joke and a rhetorical question.

A Buddhist monk walks up to a hot dog vendor and says “Make me one with everything”.
The hot dog vendor hands over the sausage and bun with all the trimmings, and the Buddhist hands over a twenty. The vendor pockets it. The Buddhist asks “Where’s my change?” and the vendor replies “change must come from within”.
A gun then extends from the Buddhist’s chest and he asks again. The vendor says “Whoa, man, where did that come from?” The Buddhist replies “This is my inner piece”.

“What was Nietzsche’s day job?”
“Post-man…”

Two behaviorists are having sex. When they have finished, one turns to the other and says, “That was good for you. Was it good for me?”

“How did Kant manage to write The Critique of Pure Reason?”
“He made the time.”

Zeno walks halfway into a bar…
The masochist said to the sadist “hurt me”, but the sadist said “no”.